Neighbour From Hell

Any homeowner will quickly tell you the importance of good neighbours, particularly those that have lived near to a bad one. I have had the good fortune to have had very good neighbours with the exception of maybe one or two that were somewhat below average. In our first condo in Toronto it became clear that when the odour in the stairwell changed from curry to the sweet aroma of Ghanga weed it was time to move on so we bought a house in a suburban town. We were in a new subdivision with a bunch of young families all pretty much just starting out. These were our first houses and as a plus we were on a court which helped build solid friendships that would last for years. Here we had one neighbour who refused to pay his share for fencing after it was agreed to and installed. When he (the teacher) met my five year son, at the time, in the front yard and asked him how he was doing, my son answered, `My dad thinks you`re an asshole``. Needless to say we didn’t talk much over the next few years. The next house we lived in had neighbours on one side that were really interesting. He was an old guy that had lost his job while in his 60`s and had to continue working at low end jobs into his 70`s to make ends meet. The lady that lived with him was mentally challenged but she was harmless. He was prone to the sauce and many a time wandered out of his house half dressed or absolutely naked on a few occasions. He would lock himself in his room and cause his lady friend much grief before he could be persuaded to come out. Sometimes the fire truck had to intervene. She was a darling but would constantly be at our door wanting to borrow $20 of which she would return when her Govt cheque arrived. In fact she always borrowed or charged the exact amount of money as her monthly stipend so that she was broke right after receiving her money and therefore started the cycle once again. We would get a Xmas card from her in September amongst other little idiosyncrasies. My neighbour’s across the street were pretty much normal but the one two doors over was scary. When she and her husband were having their house built she would show up unannounced and began berating the builder’s crew for doing something wrong. I can remember her screaming at them so loud it could be heard 300 yards away. When the Town was repaving the roadway on our street she was always in constant battles with the construction guys. The Town reps always tried to avoid her but it was impossible. If she wanted to complain she would search them out whether behind a grader or under a truck. The neighbour in between us is the unfortunate one because they have been harassed since they moved in. Their boys were too loud in the back yard or their fence needed painting and on and on. After hearing about this lady you may vision a large and ominous person but on the contrary, she is petite, well groomed and reasonably attractive. She has developed such a reputation that there are many men on the street ,including myself, that would cross the street to avoid meeting up with her. All I can say is, thank God she lives two doors away because she seems to be the proverbial “neighbour from hell”.